I do know what you mean (I think, I mean, maybe, I generally get things a bit wrong, what with distance between us being both of the physical and personality spectrum sort), and thank you, because I took time today after reading this to write what I wanted to instead of what I was "supposed" to, which is a weird construct when it is a project I gave myself in the first place? It is an interesting thing to work out, how to make this thing I love to do a part of life in a consistent, constructive, enjoyable way. that isn't just scribbles in the margins and shoved in a drawer and forgotten, but also doesn't feel like a class project with a deadline and requiring a bibliography properly formatted. that in between place? maybe with more sex. probably with a lot more. just hinting at a lesbian relationship in my story, more innuendo than anything, was terrifying for me to write, and incredibly freeing. like, ah-ha! I did that, and the world didn't crash down! maybe I could do that again? maybe in a different story! what if? maybe!
also, back to the gulfs of difference in personality spectrum between us... I have never stuck with an idea for a book past the first chapter. I would like to write a book. and I want to print it up and put it on a shelf and be able to tell myself I wrote a book, because it's a life goal I made for myself when I was 14 or so and had just finished some terrible fantasy novel, and was like, shit, I can do this, I want to do this. I can write a terrible fantasy novel. I feel like I can't move forward until I do. I wrote a play and choreographed a few dances and now I want to do this. I also want to have an art show, like I'm thinking in a coffee shop. I want to have enough art pieces to show in one place and have someone like them enough to put them up on their walls with price tags attached. that's also a life goal. I aim low, I guess? I aim at having lots of little experiences, dipping my toes into different waters. It's really hard for me to stick with one thing very long, and I recognize that that makes it hard to get very good at any of those things.
haha I just went back and read your comment, and I think I missed maybe some innuendo there? god, I'm bad at understanding Judy, but heavens, I do like to try.
no subject
also, back to the gulfs of difference in personality spectrum between us... I have never stuck with an idea for a book past the first chapter. I would like to write a book. and I want to print it up and put it on a shelf and be able to tell myself I wrote a book, because it's a life goal I made for myself when I was 14 or so and had just finished some terrible fantasy novel, and was like, shit, I can do this, I want to do this. I can write a terrible fantasy novel. I feel like I can't move forward until I do. I wrote a play and choreographed a few dances and now I want to do this. I also want to have an art show, like I'm thinking in a coffee shop. I want to have enough art pieces to show in one place and have someone like them enough to put them up on their walls with price tags attached. that's also a life goal. I aim low, I guess? I aim at having lots of little experiences, dipping my toes into different waters. It's really hard for me to stick with one thing very long, and I recognize that that makes it hard to get very good at any of those things.
haha I just went back and read your comment, and I think I missed maybe some innuendo there? god, I'm bad at understanding Judy, but heavens, I do like to try.