I've seen plenty of introverts with fairly elaborate name-based websites, though. I think it probably relates to some ugly combination of my self-esteem issues and my ongoing anxieties regarding visibility.
Just since I started incentivizing myself to post public LJ content again, I've had a significant increase in nightmares where I discover that two of the individuals who sexually assaulted me have been using FB to hurt me more. (It's usually the individual who caused me to deactivate my account for a bit in 2009 with that kind of behavior, but sometimes it's... somebody else. I'm not even sure he's alive anymore and have NO INTEREST in looking.) So of course I have layers of confidence, anxiety, and value stuff rattling around in my gut, it's a HUGE, complicated, and incredibly sneaky sort of trauma-related psychological block. There's certainly some fear of failure in there, too, but I'm not as worried about looking like a failure as I am, like, afraid of hurting people or not being able to support myself because of my ineptitude.
Is our hour up? And can I have that tissue box with the carnations on it, please? ;-)
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Date: 2015-07-24 10:01 pm (UTC)Just since I started incentivizing myself to post public LJ content again, I've had a significant increase in nightmares where I discover that two of the individuals who sexually assaulted me have been using FB to hurt me more. (It's usually the individual who caused me to deactivate my account for a bit in 2009 with that kind of behavior, but sometimes it's... somebody else. I'm not even sure he's alive anymore and have NO INTEREST in looking.) So of course I have layers of confidence, anxiety, and value stuff rattling around in my gut, it's a HUGE, complicated, and incredibly sneaky sort of trauma-related psychological block. There's certainly some fear of failure in there, too, but I'm not as worried about looking like a failure as I am, like, afraid of hurting people or not being able to support myself because of my ineptitude.
Is our hour up? And can I have that tissue box with the carnations on it, please? ;-)