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look, i don't lucid dream. i have lucid flashes, moments when i put it together: geez, you know? not only am i not currently living in my childhood bedroom, but i painted over the lime green shelves in 1989 and then entirely removed them from the wall ten years after that, plus i don't remember this tarot deck as having quite so many cards drawn by eight year olds, so wow, this can't really be happening, can it? or i'll think: well, i really ought to try listening to that album before i wake up, because then i won't get to hear it. and then i'll just go on about my dream, unaffected. if it really, really clicks: if i put the language of "i am dreaming" along with the physical understanding of that idea, which has happened maybe twenty times in the course of my life, i startle myself awake with the recognition.
usually, i just act lucid while still staying in the course of the dream. for instance, this morning:
i'm working with my fellow freedom fighters to get out of the dystopian cliche that constitutes about 40% of my dreams that aren't unimaginable fights with my sister. we come around a corner in a strangely familiar crumbling cityscape and there, in an otherwise burned out stripmall, is a well lit and maintained sanrio shop from the mid-eighties. my eyes fall on the pearly pink storefront and i scream to my comrades:
OH SHIT! FALL BACK FALL BACK FALL BACK
i grab a friend and we run for cover. obviously, the looks i receive are questioning. i press my fingers to my temples and mutter to myself.
"what," someone asks, "what?"
"i've been trying to reprogram a little," i sob. "work out some new symbols for some of my major reoccurring themes. because i can't deal with the standards any longer. but longing is just one of those things i'm going to dream about, so the symbols are going to be there and - dragging you guys into this... i'm so sorry."
"what?"
"any time my subconscious drags out the fucking hello kitty store as a symbol for the things i'll never have... shit is about to get weird."
*
and... yeah.
pretty much.
usually, i just act lucid while still staying in the course of the dream. for instance, this morning:
i'm working with my fellow freedom fighters to get out of the dystopian cliche that constitutes about 40% of my dreams that aren't unimaginable fights with my sister. we come around a corner in a strangely familiar crumbling cityscape and there, in an otherwise burned out stripmall, is a well lit and maintained sanrio shop from the mid-eighties. my eyes fall on the pearly pink storefront and i scream to my comrades:
OH SHIT! FALL BACK FALL BACK FALL BACK
i grab a friend and we run for cover. obviously, the looks i receive are questioning. i press my fingers to my temples and mutter to myself.
"what," someone asks, "what?"
"i've been trying to reprogram a little," i sob. "work out some new symbols for some of my major reoccurring themes. because i can't deal with the standards any longer. but longing is just one of those things i'm going to dream about, so the symbols are going to be there and - dragging you guys into this... i'm so sorry."
"what?"
"any time my subconscious drags out the fucking hello kitty store as a symbol for the things i'll never have... shit is about to get weird."
*
and... yeah.
pretty much.
